Bryan Craddock - Overcoming Anger

You don't have to read very far in the Bible to encounter the emotion of anger. It first shows up in Genesis 4 in the life of the first naturally born human being. His name was Cain. In Genesis 4:3-7, the Scripture tells us,

3So it came about in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the LORD of the fruit of the ground.

 4Abel, on his part also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and for his offering;

 5but for Cain and for his offering, He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.

 6Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?

 7"If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it."

We've all been there. We've experienced that surge of emotion that we call anger. Our heart races. Our temperature rises. Our teeth clench. Sometimes we give it other names. We talk about being frustrated, upset, annoyed, or bothered. But it's really all the same. And whenever those feelings rise up in us, we stand at a crossroads as Cain did. We have the opportunity to do well or to commit sin. What do you do at that crossroad moment? How do we overcome anger?

Cain failed and ended up cursed by God because of his actions. He gave full vent to his anger. Genesis 4:8 says, "Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him." How have you responded to your anger?

There are any number of factors that influence how we respond. Some of us have learned bad habits from our parents. Some of us carry particularly heavy burdens around that keep us on edge. Some of us even have red hair. Ultimately, the most influential factor in our favor is our relationship with Jesus Christ. If we are in Christ and He is in us, we have the strength to respond to anger in ways that display the holiness, righteousness, grace, and love of God.

One of the key sections in the Bible that teaches us how to overcome anger is Ephesians 4:17-32. Follow along as I read.
17So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind,

 18being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart;

 19and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness.

 20But you did not learn Christ in this way,

 21if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,

 22that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,

 23and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,

 24and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

 25Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another.

 26BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

 27and do not give the devil an opportunity.

 28He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need.

 29Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

 30Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

 31Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

 32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Paul's purpose in this passage was to show the profound difference Jesus Christ should make in the lives of Christians. Verses 17-19 describe life apart from Christ. Verses 20-24 picture the process of change. Then verses 25-32 list specific changes that should be taking place in our lives. I would like to spend most of our time on verses 25-32 because they all seem to relate to anger. Before we get there, let's make sure we understand the preceding verses.

Life apart from Christ

Paul lists characteristics of life apart from Christ in verses 17-19. He starts with the mind and moves outward to people's behavior. Eugene Peterson captured these verses well in The Message: "And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They've refused for so long to deal with God that they've lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can't think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion."

This is our natural condition. From birth all of us naturally proceed in the direction that Paul described. It's like a mighty river. The very best people in society try to resist the flow, but they can't make any progress. They keep slipping further and further downstream to where the river plunges toward an abyss.

But the gospel of Christ is like a rope. When it's thrown to us, we have to grab onto it. It doesn't automatically transport us to dry land. We have to be pulled upstream against the current. The problem is that even as Christians who have hold of the rope, we get tired of fighting the current and want to float along for a little while. Paul called us to hold on tight. Recognize the pull of life around you.

And I would add this--don't look down on those who are floating by. Show them the rope.

The Picture of Change

In verses 20-24, Paul gave us a very vivid picture of spiritual growth. I refer to it often because it's so helpful. He portrayed spiritual growth as changing your clothes. Sin is like a sticky mud that covers us from head to toe. You can't just cover over it. First you have to strip off the filthy clothes. Paul said in verse 22, "lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit." If only it were as easy as taking off clothes!

The old self speaks of the habits we've built up--the ways we live, the ways we speak, the ways we relate to people, the ways we respond to circumstances. Even though they seem normal, all of those habits have been corrupted and spoiled. They have been deformed and broken. We have to recognize that and stop living that way.

Next, Paul said in verse 23 that you have to be "renewed in the spirit of your mind." That would be like washing after you take off those dirty clothes, but again it's not that simple. The corruption of the world actually seeps into the way that you think.

In Bible churches like ours, we tend to think that if you have a lot of Bible knowledge, you have renewed your mind. But that's not necessarily true, is it?  It's possible to know a lot of biblical truth, without ever allowing the truth to shape the way you think about life. You don't really know the truth until it begins to renew your values, your priorities, and your attitudes. Spiritual growth isn't just about changing your behavior. It's a change that moves from the inside out.

Once you've washed, then you begin to put on clean clothes. Paul said in verse 24, "Put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth."

To see this process in action, let's move on to the details.

Examples of Change

Paul listed a series of examples of change in verses 25-32. As I've said, I think a lot of these examples relate to our the question we're trying to answer this morning: "How do we overcome anger?" Let's walk through them.

Verse 25 says, "Therefore, laying aside falsehood, SPEAK TRUTH EACH ONE of you WITH HIS NEIGHBOR, for we are members of one another." That last part of the verse suggests that Paul was talking primarily about relationships within the church. How does lying and falsehood enter the church?

Perhaps Paul had in mind the falsehood of hypocrisy, when we pretend to be more spiritual than we are. But with his emphasis on speaking truth, I suspect he's referring to the tendency we all have to speak behind each other's back. Someone does something that offends us in some way. It makes us angry. How do we respond? We smile and say everything's alright. But then we vent our anger by criticizing the person when he or she isn't around.

That kind of two-faced falsehood is normal with the rest of the world, but it shouldn't be the case here. Put that kind of behavior aside. If you truly believe that we are joined together as one body in Christ, then that truth must control the way you respond when people offend you. God calls us to humbly speak truth. Go to the person who has offended you and speak with them - not to attack and take revenge, but to restore and strengthen.

Verses 26 and 27 say, "BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger,and do not give the devil an opportunity." This is an amazing statement. Paul commands us to be angry. Don't bury it deep inside. You've felt that surge of emotion, acknowledge it. But don't respond to it in a sinful way. Do something constructive with it, and do it soon. Do it the same day. Otherwise, you give the devil an opportunity--or some translations say a foothold. When you hold on to your anger and brood on it, you are opening yourself to Satan's temptation. The longer you hold onto it the more he will tempt you to respond sinfully. 

Verse 28 says, "He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need." It would seem like Paul has moved on from the subject of anger. But he comes right back to it in the subsequent verses. Could it be that anger plays into stealing? Isn't the sin of stealing often prompted by jealousy and envy that stokes an anger that other people have something that you don't? Nothing defuses that jealous anger like generosity.

Verse 29 says, "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." Now this verse applies to any number of situations, including our sense of humor. We often joke about things that are unwholesome. But the most unwholesome words flow from our mouths when we are angry. That's what you find in the world. It shouldn't be the case with us.

If you believe that we are saved by the grace of God, then your speech should reflect that. We should speak in ways that build people up. Paul's not speaking about being gracious or flattering. He's not talking about trying to put everything in a rosy light. The idea is that the things we say should reflect the grace of God. Our words should remind people of the grace of God. That is what builds people up.

Verse 30 says, "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." When you choose to become a follower of Christ, the Holy Spirit enters into your life. He becomes God's seal on your life. In ancient times, after writing a letter important people would place their seal upon it. They would drip wax on the paper and leave the imprint of their unique sign. It confirmed that the document wasn't a fake. The Holy Spirit plays that same role in us. The presence of the Holy Spirit is the proof that we really belong to God now.

If you believe in the presence of the Holy Spirit, then you have to ask, "How does the Spirit respond when I act in a sinful way?" Paul answers that question. The Holy Spirit grieves over our sin. Our sinful actions are painful to him.

Finally, in verses 31 and 32 Paul moves into a sweeping summary. Verse 31 shows us the kind of sin-stained, worldly behavior that we should be putting off. Paul wrote, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." Do you see that all of these relate to anger? Bitterness is what happens when we keep holding on to our anger rather than seeking to resolve problems. We don't often use the word wrath, but the word rage captures the idea. It pictures someone who is screaming out their anger. The word clamor speaks of loud crying or shouting. And of course, slander is speaking behind someone's back.

Even a lot of non-Christian people label these responses to anger as immature. But they are more than that. They are sinful. They are habits that we learned in our old life. They are part of that dirt and muck that sticks to us. We need to wash them away.

Instead, verse 32 says, "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Do you believe in the forgiveness of God? If so, then that should be reflected in how you relate to people.

Conclusion

Some time this week maybe even today you will come to one of those crossroad moments just like Cain did. Your heart will race. Your temperature will rise. Your body will tense up. Will you choose to act like the old self or will you put on the new? 

We have to remind ourselves who we are. If you have come to Christ, then you are a member of Christ's body, an enemy of Satan, saved by the grace of God, sealed by the Holy Spirit, and forgiven on your sin. If this is true of you, then let these truths renew your mind. Let them shape your life. 

When you feel angry, put on truth. Resist sin. Act with generosity. Speak edifying words full of grace. Be kind and forgiving.