Bryan Craddock - Overcoming Through Forgiveness

In showing his followers how to pray, Jesus gave us what we call "The Lord's Prayer." As we begin this morning, let's read it together. 

Our Father who is in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name. 
Your kingdom come
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen

Matthew 6:9-13 NASB

Many churches routinely recite these words. And yet, it was not Jesus' intent to prescribe a prayer that we should repeat over and over again. He was giving us an outline, a pattern to follow. 

This morning I want to draw your attention to one particular line: "And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Jesus went on to explain that line further. He said, "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions" (Matthew 6:14-15).

Those are strong words, and on another occasion Jesus expanded upon them with a powerful story recorded in Matthew 18:23-35--a story about money.

 

23"For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24"When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. (That was an unbelievably high sum of money, a fortune.) 25"But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. 26"So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.' 27"And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. 28"But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; (That was a lot of money, but still a manageable amount, like a few thousand dollars.) and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, 'Pay back what you owe.' 29"So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, 'Have patience with me and I will repay you.' 30"But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. 31"So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. 32"Then summoning him, his lord said to him, 'You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33'Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?' 34"And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. 35"My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."

 

You don't have to be a Christian to recognize the problems in being unwilling to forgive. When people hold on to bitter feelings from some old wound, it consumes their lives. It drains their energy. It sucks away their happiness. But if we understand what Jesus is saying, then we have to see that being unwilling to forgive also has eternal consequences. We must learn to forgive.

A few weeks ago we spoke about overcoming our own feelings of guilt through God's forgiveness. But how do we overcome the hurts other people have inflicted upon us? How do we forgive? How do we deal with the memories and feelings of bitterness that seem to paralyze us?

Paul's words in Colossians 3:12-17 are helpful to us. He says, "So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."This passage is very similar to the passage we looked at two weeks ago from Ephesians 4. In both places, Paul explained how becoming a Christian should change the way you live. He was  particularly concerned that there be unity among Christians. There is certainly more here than the subject of forgiveness, but those other thoughts help us see how we can really become forgiving people.

This summer my son, Matt, has been learning Tae Kwon Do--that's the Korean version of martial arts. The core of the training consists of forms or patterns of movements that the students repeat over and over again, certain blocks and punches and kicks. It's almost like a dance. The idea is that those movements have to become so natural that the student can almost do them without thinking. This passage in Colossians 3 gives us those kinds of patterns for our spiritual lives. They should become natural to us as we practice them over and over again.

Passing on Grace

We could call the first pattern passing on grace. There are actually two different words for forgiveness in the original language of the New Testament. One word means to release or let go. That's the word that Jesus used in the Lord's prayer. Here in Colossians 3, Paul uses another word that means to give grace. So in verse 13, the idea is that in the same way that God has shown you grace, you should pass that grace on to other people. 

Grace is like a gift, but it's even more than that. We give gifts to people that we like. Grace is like giving a gift to someone who has wronged you. The king extended grace to the servant in the story that Jesus told. The servant had totally hadn't just borrowed money. He had squandered it. It's unfathomable what he could have ever done with all of the money he lost. He had taken advantage of the king. The king had every right to punish him, but instead the king offered him grace. He offered to wipe out his debt. 

God makes the same kind of offer to us. We're not basically good people who just need a little help from God. We've ignored him. We've rejected him. We've sinned against him. We're the ones who have run up a fortune in debt. We're the ones who have taken advantage of Him. Every good thing we've ever received is from Him, but we seldom even acknowledge that. He has every right to punish us, but instead our Lord offers us grace. He offers to forgive our sins. 

I think Paul was alluding to God's grace back in Colossians 3:12 when he addresses Christians as "those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved." Even in spite of all of our sin, he chooses us, and because we are chosen we are set apart. We become holy and special. We are those who are loved by God. 

But we're like the slave in the story that Jesus told. There are still people out there who have sinned against us and continue to do so. And we're faced with a decision. Will we continue to look down upon the people who have sinned against us? Or will we let go of our claims against them to look up and into the face of our gracious Lord? We can't do both. 

To receive God's grace, His gift of salvation in Christ, we have to come with a humility. We humbly acknowledge our sinfulness. We humbly acknowledge our inability to change ourselves. And even though we may not fully realize it at the time, that humility has to include a willingness to become a conduit of God's grace to others. Grace must flow through us, spilling into all that we say and do. 

You may think, "But this person who has hurt me doesn't deserve to be forgiven." That may be true, but that's the whole idea of grace. Our forgiveness isn't based upon the actions or attitude of the offender. Our forgiveness is based upon the grace that God has extended to us. There may be a need to confront the person and we will come back to that subject next week. But I think that is a separate issue. The point here is that we forgive for God's sake. 

We need to get accustomed to passing on grace. It's one of those forms or patterns or habits that should characterize us.

Putting on Love

The second pattern I see here in Colossians 3 is one we spoke of a few weeks ago. Just like in Ephesians 4, Paul uses the picture of putting off the old self, renewing our minds, and putting on the new. Paul lists a number of characteristics that we should be putting on, but in verse 14 he seems to tie them all together under the ultimate heading of love. We have to get in the habit of putting on love. 

Let's look at these characteristics that Paul identifies and see how they relate to forgiveness. First in verse 12, he said, "Put on a heart of compassion." The old King James Bible gives us a more literal translation, "bowels of mercies." In the ancient world, when they talked about feelings of deep compassion or sympathy for people, they thought of it as something you feel deep down in your gut. When you are struggling to forgive someone, it helps to have compassion. Look at life from their perspective. What experiences and pressures has that person had to endure. Those other matters don't excuse what the person has done, but they at least help you begin to understand. 

Next, Paul says to put on kindness. Kindness is a general sense of good will toward people. Many times when someone does something that offends or hurts us, we don't really know their motive. In some cases, we don't know whether it was intentional or unintentional. So what do we do? We normally assume the worst. But if we get in to the habit of putting on kindness, we come to those hurts with a different perspective. We'll be less inclined to be so critical. 

Humility is the third characteristic listed by Paul. So often when someone hurts us, we want revenge. But when we're humble before God, we leave judgment in his hands. This idea is present in many of the Psalms. David complained to God about the people who were hurting him. And some of those prayers are harsh. He prays for his enemies to be destroyed. But he didn't carry through on that. He entrusted it to God. Paul expressed the same idea in Romans 12:19: "Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord." Are you willing to leave it in God's hands? Humility also helps us forgive because it reminds us that we're fallible too. Just think how many times you have sinned against someone. The practice of humility is crucial in learning to forgive.

The fourth characteristic listed is translated "gentleness" or "meekness," but many Bible scholars do not like those translations. In his classic Bible dictionary, William Vine described this word as, "That temper of spirit in which we accept [God's] dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting." Another Bible expositor from long ago, Alexander MacLaren, said described meekness as, "the temper which accepts God's dealings, or evil inflicted by men as His instruments, without resistance." This is the characteristic we see in the patriarch Joseph whose brothers sold him into slavery. He was able to forgive them by saying, " You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20). Are you willing to say that to people who have sinned against you?

Fifth, Paul says that we must put on patience or literally long-suffering. Paul elaborates on this in verse 13. He speaks of "bearing with one another." Sometimes people hurt us very deeply, but most of the time we're hurt by things that aren't that major. Someone is rude. They snap at you, or say something unkind. Still, those little sins pile up, don't they? Putting on long-suffering enables you to ignore those petty offenses. Proverbs 19:11 says, "A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a transgression." Are you easily offended? If so, you're going to have a very hard time overcoming through forgiveness. Put on patience.

Finally, in verse 14 Paul says to put on love. Love is all of these things and more. Will you love those who have sinned against you? That's what we see so vividly in Jesus. As the soldiers were nailing him to the cross, he said, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). Would you love people so deeply as to not only forgive them yourself, but to ask God to forgive them? 

That kind of love has a dramatic effect. Paul says it is the perfect bond of unity. That's what people should see when they look at the church--not perfect people, but people who love like Christ. They shouldn't see bitter, divided people who are always gossiping about each other. They should see people who are bound together in unity because they exhibit the forgiving love of Jesus Christ. 

Are you putting on all these characteristics of love? If that is the pattern of your life, then you will be well prepared to respond well when someone hurts you in some way.

Living in Christ

The final pattern for living is what I call living in Christ and we find this pattern in verses 15-17. We cannot learn to forgive in our own power. We pass on the grace of God to others. We put on love, but ultimately we must have power from God. Elsewhere Paul describes this power as the Holy Spirit. Here he speaks of the same effect, but in different terms. His emphasis in Colossians is that we have everything we need in Christ, so he continues that theme. He speaks of the peace of Christ, the word of Christ, and the name of Christ.

In verse 15 Paul says, "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful." On the night Jesus before Jesus was crucified, he knew his disciples were worried as he spoke about going away to the Father. He promised that he would send the Holy Spirit to be in them, and woven into that discussion in John 14:27 He said, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

We tend to think of peace as the absence of conflict, but here in Colossians 3 it seems to be more than that. The peace of Christ is able to rule, to guide, to direct. It is an active force to which we should submit. 

Paul adds that we were called to the peace of Christ in one body. As David Kent taught last week, all of us as believers are the body of Christ. The same Holy Spirit dwells in us, and we all fall under the reign of the peace of Christ. Paul says we should be thankful. This is a great privilege. 

What does that have to do with forgiveness? In light of the flow of thought here, can I suggest to you that when we fail to extend forgiveness to someone, particularly within the church, we are not letting Christ's peace rule. Withholding forgiveness is at odds with this great blessing. It's in opposition to the peace of Christ. When you withhold forgiveness, you are forfeiting the blessing of living under the reign of peace. Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart. 

Living in Christ involves possessing His peace, and also having His Word. Verse 16 says, "Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you."  Paul was talking about the teaching of Jesus Christ as it was passed on through the apostles. For us, this points to the New Testament. These truths are supposed to dwell or take up residence in us. What a great picture! 

Would you say that the teaching of Jesus is at home in your life? How do you know? Paul tells us in the rest of the verse. When the word of Christ dwells richly in you, you will be "with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God." That is what the church is supposed to be like. We're each supposed to be so filled with the word of Christ, that it overflows from us whenever we're together.  We'll never have the joy of that experience, if we keep holding on to our hurts and not forgiving. 

Open up your heart to the word of Christ. Let Him expose the things that need to change. Let Him unpack the issues that you would rather keep locked away. 

And finally... When we seek to let the peace of Christ rule in us, and we let His word dwell in us richly, then we can go through life in His name. Verse 17 says, "Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

Doing everything in Jesus' name is like wearing His uniform, identifying with Him in everything. Can you hold onto a hurt in Jesus' name? Can you be bitter for Christ's sake? Certainly not. 

Conclusion

As we've seen, the issue of forgiveness can't be addressed in isolation. Forgiveness is vitally wrapped up in what it means to be a Christian. We've all had the experience of being offended and hurt by others. But remember this morning that what we've experience can't compare to what God Himself has experienced. 

Go back to Jesus' story for a moment. The servant to Lord debt was 10,000 talents, a fortune, an unrepayable amount. The servant to servant debt was considerable, but not at all on par with the servant to Lord debt. We just don't understand how much God has to forgive. Just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.

Make these patterns a part of your life. Pass on grace. Put on love. Live in Christ. That's how we overcome.